Monday 30 August 2010

This is a blog post about how strange I am

Hopefully it will be amusing and not just weird, but amusing is more difficult than weird. I am good at weird, I have been doing weird since I was very little, but it is only recently that people have started laughing at things I say (when I am trying to be funny, people have always laughed at me for being a bit stupid).

Anyway! Here is the bit where I tell you how strange I am!

1) I sometimes get confused about whether I dreamt a thing or if it really happened. For example the other day I started telling my mother about a dream I had where someone tried to give me saucepans for university but then I already had them so I said no. Apparently this wasn't a dream, this was a thing that she told me yesterday.
This also happens the other way round. Especially if I have lost something. Many a time I have lost a thing and had a dream that I miraculously found it and then put it on my bedside table and then later on when I want whatever thing it is that I lost I look for it on my bedside table where I remember putting it but it isn't there! But I remember putting it there not so long ago! But oh wait, that was right after I was running away from giant space monsters, maybe that was a dream. Either that or I have more important troubles than loosing something.

2) Another dream based one. Apparently I turn into a murderer in my sleep. In the last month I have had at least four dreams where I attack/kill someone. In one of them I shot someone in the head with a silenced pistol, but he survived. In that one it was self defence, he had kidnapped me and my friends and wasn't going to let us go! So yeah, apparently my subconscious likes making up scenarios where I kill people. I think this makes me Legitimately Strange.

3) I quite often manage to half convince myself that there is some kind of conspiracy among random acquaintances of mine where people who don't even know each other are somehow sharing amongst themselves things that I have said to one of them. For example earlier I was about to complain about this one person to this one other person, but then I thought OH GOD WHAT IF THIS ONE OTHER PERSON TELLS THIS ONE PERSON I SAID THIS THING ABOUT THEM. Now as far as I know, these two people have never met. It is not likely that they ever will meet. And if they did they would probably have better things to do than compare notes on my latest opinions of them. Then I thought about writing my complaint down in my diary, but I realised that spies could be watching me so I didn't. That is correct, I changed my course of action because I thought spies might read my diary. It could happen! You never know!

4) This is a bit more of a common strange person thing to do, but I have the habit of meowing at my cats. I do a very good meow. It sounds a lot like a cat. But it is probably strange that I regularly have meowed conversations with my cats. They get bored of it before I do. I also meow at my dog, but that's just because it confuses him, and he is so funny when he is confused :D

Anyway, that is my list of why I am strange. There are probably other things that should be on this list, but I either don't even realise that they are strange, or I just forgot them.

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